OK, so some of you will think this is ‘out there’ but more and more people are coming around to the weirdness that is how the universe actually works. While we’ll leave the scientists to figure out the maths – the only convincing way this can be tested is by our own direct experience. I must declare at this point that I’ve never read the book ‘The Secret’ and I’m writing from my own personal experiences.
The first thing to do is understand what actually happens in your life around money. This will be different for everyone, but there are some common themes.
Do you find it hard to make money? Or can you make money, then find it hard to hold on to? Do you think, deep down, that rich people must have screwed someone over to get where they got to? When you were a child, did you hear from parents or others that ‘money is the root of all evil’ or ‘money doesn’t grow on trees’ or similar? Who didn’t, right? I’m guessing you’re reading this because you don’t have rich parents or a trust-fund and would actually like to have a more confidence with money and hold on to a more comfortable amount of it.
The thing is that this ‘stuff’ is what informs our beliefs. We have beliefs around all sorts of things, I’m not just talking about religion here. Our beliefs are formed in childhood mostly. As babies, we are learning about how the world is and if we are OK in the world. It’s a safety feature, if you will, to help us navigate the world we live in.
So here’s how it works. The law of attraction is a secondary law. The primary law is the law of vibration. So what does this mean? Think ‘birds of a feather, flock together’. In other words – like attracts like. We see this all the time in groups of friends, teams, tribes. This happens on a sub-atomic level too. What you are putting out there, in terms of your vibration, energy and frequency (actually, all three), is what you get back. There is no judgement applied here. It just is.
If you subconsciously believe that money is evil, and you know that you are a good person – you can never allow yourself to be rich – even if you really really want to be and try really hard. And even if you earn some money or are given some – you’ll find a way to get rid of it as soon as you can – usually without even realising that this is what is happening. This is called a limiting belief. It’s a safety mechanism that is actually working against you. Bummer, no?!
This is just one example of a limiting belief; there are many. If you think of your mind, brain and body working like a computer system – this is old, outdated code or software that is slowing down your operating system and being a complete pain in the proverbial. But because you wrote this code, you created it – because you as a child was really doing your best at the time – only you can change or upgrade it. You now know that there is a better way to be. This old programme is no longer helping you. It’s got you stuck in a looping pattern that you can’t seem to get out of. It needs an upgrade.
Like with your computer, you need to run a diagnostic to find the faulty, or old code. Then you need to uninstall it, clean up the drive and install the upgrade. Then, you will get a much better performance out of the system.
How do you do this with beliefs? There are many ways. You can work with a coach who can be objective and find the faulty ‘source code’ that needs to be upgraded. You can try hypnotherapy or psychological therapy. I’ve found that a combination of working with a coach and journalling are incredibly helpful – and revealing. I was surprised, and shocked in many cases to find that I’d formed beliefs from certain incidents as a child – that now I understand much more fully – but at the time, I formed a belief around what happened. I’ll give you an example, of a real memory I have.
When I was about four, my grandparents were visiting. I’d just been to the bathroom and skipped into the kitchen where they were sitting with my parents. I announced, in that cute, adorable way that kids do what I’d just done in the bathroom, I seem to remember feeling quite proud of myself, for some reason! The whole room erupted in laughter at my innocent declaration of this achievement. I was mortified. I felt humiliated and ashamed. I didn’t realise, at my tender age, that there were social conventions governing not openly discussing ones bodily functions in polite company. I burst into tears and, looking back, I decided right then, that this experience was so embarrassing that I could not, in fact, be myself in front of others. I needed to hide, mask my true self. My innocence and my freedom of expression was severely choked from that moment on.
The thing is, to get to this realisation I had to backwards engineer the issue, what was showing up in my life. Working with my coach, I saw that I was not feeling connected to people. I felt alone, isolated and disconnected. I journaled about this and traced back the feeling to this strong memory. Amongst others. There are always layers to dig into. It’s really hard to re-live painful, awkward, embarrassing or painful memories. We bury them for a reason – they are not pleasant! However, this is how you get to reset, re-programme these beliefs. This belief that I couldn’t be ‘me’ affected the rest of my life until I did the inner work on it. I had no idea that it held me back in work, in relationships and in my own self-image. I had, in fact, created a mental mask to protect me from the world. This created a barrier between me and everyone else and let me tell you – that can be a lonely place to live. It’s also ironic too – because, all I ever wanted was to be fully ‘seen’ in terms of who I am. I think we all do. But I couldn’t risk it because it was, I’d felt, dangerous and hurtful to be laughed at.
Now, I realise that I wasn’t actually being laughed at. My family were reacting to the adorable child that I was, they loved me. But, if I felt this bad with them, what could outsiders make me feel!? Not risking it. See how this reasoning works, in our inner child self? Our ‘inner toddler’ is running our life! And we wonder why all is not well…?!
I did the inner work. I brought this belief into my conscious awareness and was honest about all of how I felt. I noticed how I reacted and how I was still reacting to things based on the very basic belief that it wasn’t ‘safe’ to be me. I ‘installed’ better beliefs, ones that help me and don’t hold me back.
This is all a process and can take time but the shifts can be immediate too. I also had a lot of programming about money, the lack of it, the nature of it etc. I’ve worked on these too. This is how I know that beliefs about money can be totally screwing you over. From my personal, painful experience.
If you feel like you need help with any of the above, please get in touch. There are many books and online resources that can help you too and I’d encourage you to find a way that works for you.